Swatch Moonswatch Mission on Earth Owner Review : Fun, wacky and basic

Ah, the Moonswatch "Earth Phase"! It's like Omega and Swatch thought, "Hey, what if we took the icon of space exploration and disguised it as... something that started in a Tupperware factory?" Honestly, this watch has about as much connection to planet Earth as an astronaut having a nightmare has to a fruit salad. "Earth Phase"? But where's the "Monday morning traffic jam" or "bitchy electricity bill" phase? No, instead, we get a lunar gray dial (ironically) with a small Earth sketch that looks like it was colored in by a five-year-old on a rainy day. And that "Bioceramic" case! It looks like the result of an unnatural union between a Lego set and an expired yogurt. It's lightweight, sure, but it exudes the solidity of a house of cards in a light breeze. I feel like if I bang it too hard against a table, it'll disintegrate into rainbow unicorn dust. Talk about the Velcro strap! It's so "casual" that I think it'll come off at the first vigorous handshake. And that plastic buckle... it looks like it was salvaged from a school bag. But wait, there's a chronograph! Yes, because when you're observing the Earth from space (well, from your couch), it's absolutely crucial to be able to measure short intervals of time. Like, the time it takes for the cat to finish its food. So, yes, it's an Omega Speedmaster... well, a kind of Speedmaster that's gone on a draconian diet and swapped its precious steel for biodegradable plastic (well, I hope so for the planet). It's a bit like taking a Rolls-Royce and giving it a cardboard body. The intention is there, but the result... let's just say you have to have a certain sense of humor (or be a very, very forgiving collector) to fully appreciate it. In short, the Moonswatch "Earth Phase": for those who dream of going to the Moon, but who mostly feel like they've landed on another planet in terms of design and materials. But hey, at least it tells the time! (I hope so. I haven't dared check too closely yet, for fear it might fall apart.)